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Trudeau knows a little bit of what constitutes good science. He once sat next to Bill Nye the Science Guy and regaled us with musings of how “Every single human being starts off as a scientist. When you’re a baby, you are a scientist. If I make this noise, wow, I get milk. If I push this button, or knock this thing off the table, it lands on me and it hurts.’ You’re curious. You’re always asking questions. ‘Why is the sky blue? What does this do? What’s that do? Why is this this way? Well, what do you mean there’s going to be consequences if I do this?’” Isn’t it totally awesome that science no longer requires understanding or following any sort of methods or procedures? We are finally getting back to the high craft of superstition and alchemy, and if we play our cards right, students will finally be able to get their Bachelor of Science degrees in Astrology.

Bill Nye the Science Guy was absolutely the right man to lend scientific credibility to our Prime Minister. First, his label as the “Science Guy” is really a brilliant piece of propaganda, the claim itself being quite dubious. Second, Nye proves himself to be a pretty typical leftist in the use of ridiculous rhetoric. He went onto Tucker Carlson, and told Tucker that “I love you as a person more than life itself”, then told Tucker “You’re conceited, I will assert that”, and then said “I claim I do have the answers”. Wow! This guy has zero self-awareness. Third, the “Science Guy” gets so much of his “science” wrong, yet projects absolute confidence that he is right. He told Tucker “half the people in the world live on sea coasts” and that “people living on sea coasts will be displaced” (only about 40% live within 50 kilometers of a coastline, and only roughly 10% live in low-elevation coastal zones). He told Tucker that the last ice age was tens of thousands of years ago (it ended about 12,000 years ago), and that climate change, “instead of happening on timescales of millions of years or let’s say 15,000 years, it’s happening on the timescale of decades and now years” (meaning that 15,000 years’ worth of change is being compressed into decades and even years, even though the last 15,000 years of change saw the emergence of all the world’s deserts, including the Sahara, saw sea levels rise by about 100 meters, and saw the great Canadian Ice Sheet melt away allowing the emergence of our Great Boreal Forest. Apparently we are supposed to believe that this is the scope and scale of changes currently being experienced year-to-year and decade-to-decade). Nye claimed that humans are 100% responsible for causing climate change to happen catastrophically fast, and that we have changed the climate so drastically that we almost certainly avoided another ice age (which would seem to be a good thing, especially for Canada). He said “there would have been another ice age. Ain’t gonna happen – cause of you and me.” Apparently Nye laments the fact that Canada isn’t presently buried under about a mile of ice. Nye also implied that you can no longer open ski resorts in Europe – which I assume comes as a huge shock to all the ski resorts in Europe. Bill Nye is so bad at science that he almost makes our current Prime Minister look good in comparison. Sure glad someone paid Nye thousands of dollars to come to Canada and inquire after our Morgan Kinder pipeline.

Canadians are dying, and global warming is to blame. According to Canada’s Environment Minister, Catherine McKenna, “We are all paying the cost of extreme weather events like floods, like droughts, like forest fires, and 90 people died in Québec this summer because of extreme heat”. Now, a naysayer might wonder if McKenna actually understands the difference between climate and weather, or whether she is aware that Canada has always experienced floods, droughts, and forest fires, or that cold weather claims way more lives than heat waves. Naysayers might question why McKenna’s sources on the extreme heat deaths appear to be unnamed local authorities, and why there was no increase in the number of July deaths in 2018 in comparison to previous years. They might question why no media outlets in Ontario advanced similar claims when Ontario experienced the same heat wave. Naysayers might accuse McKenna of fearmongering and advancing false facts, and they might point out that Canada’s deadliest heat wave occurred in Manitoba and Ontario in 1936, and was credited with causing over 1000 heat deaths amid 40°C temperatures. They might wonder why Health Canada concluded in 2018 that “extreme heat is not viewed as a major problem”, and why doctors surveyed by department pollsters described heat-related deaths as “very rare”. These naysayers are climate deniers who don’t know what they are talking about – even if all their facts tend to check out.

McKenna actually does know the difference between weather and climate. She thanked the weather network for explaining the difference and for emphasizing that a record cold day doesn’t mean that global warming is any less real, tweeting “would be awesome if all meteorologists did the same.” A few days later she tweeted, “Today is the warmest day on record in #NYC for the months of December, January and February. I know I have said it once, but I will say it again: Climate Change Is Real”. So she knows the distinction between these two terms, but will ignore the distinction whenever it suits her. McKenna is Trudeau’s most brilliant strategist in this government’s very important war on facts. She declared that the Paris Accords, a non-binding agreement that achieved absolutely nothing of substance, shows “that multilateralism works”. She claimed that Ottawa restaurants have banned straws, which wasn’t true, and the MP for Ottawa Center ought to have known that it wasn’t. McKenna apparently thought that North Korea was hosting the 2018 Winter Olympics, and that Calgary’s transit is 100% wind-powered. She also can’t tell the difference between a puffin and a penguin. She also thinks that climate change disproportionately affects women for – reasons.

According to a shockingly large number of people who actually don’t hold degrees in science (McKenna included), anthropogenic climate change is certain to be a catastrophic threat to Canada and the World. Sea levels are rising at an alarming rate of 3 mm / year, and if left unabated, this will result in the seas rising a full foot by 2100. The World simply cannot cope with such a tsunami. Arctic sea ice was at its peak in 1979, and since then we have seen a 4% decline in sea ice / decade. Arctic sea ice has declined to levels we’ve not seen since the early 1970s, and at the present rate of decline, we may have less than 250 years before we lose the last vestiges of our artic sea ice. This would mean an ice free arctic, and while that would enable cheaper shipping between Europe and China, does anyone really believe that we will still be using ships in 2268? More alarmingly, the last decade, which is recorded as the warmest decade on record by those who seem to have forgotten about the 1930s, saw the fewest number of hurricanes striking the United States since we began keeping records. It is time to panic, people. Nature is clearly holding back its wrath so it can wallop us all at once.

We do not have time to wait. We have to act now. We were warned that a failure to act would bring eminent devastation and disaster in the 1970s, and again in the 1980s, and the 1990s, and as we flipped over to a new millennium, and we can all see what has happened. The earth is mostly greening, New York and Florida remain above water, the globe continues to increase its agricultural output, producing more calories/person, and more people than ever before have access to clean drinking water, with the globe’s life expectancy growing year after year. We cannot allow all this human progress to continue unabated. Won’t somebody think of the children?

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